Would you Foster an Animal?

In college I had a few friends that fostered dogs. I admired them for it but I didn't think that I would ever do it myself. For one, I can't not get attached. I can't take in an animal, feed it, nurture it, and care for it and then give him up to someone else without feeling some sort of big loss. Secondly, I was always worried about the commitment to getting a dog adopted. 

But you know, never say never.

Meet Hank… 

If you're following me on instagram then you may already know this but… I'm fostering a dog!

I get really mushy when it comes to animals, especially dogs. Last week someone shared a post on facebook explaining that there were a group of dogs that were at risk of being euthanized in San Antonio due to the overpopulation of their kennels. I knew I shouldn't look at all the pictures but I did, of course, and there was no going back.

It pains me to think of any of these pups being put to sleep but as I was looking at the pictures there was  just something about this one pup. I was hit with such a strong conviction that I couldn't get past so I went for it. It was a whirlwind thing. One night I was looking at a picture of this precious puppy and the next day I was driving through San Antonio's rush hour traffic to pick him up. 

I feel so blessed that he has fit right in with the dogs that I already have and I have already had a few people interested in adopting him! 

If I didn't already have a few pups myself I might actually want to do this all the time but alas, Nick wouldn't let me.

Would you ever foster a dog? Have you? What was your experience?

Never Fear!

Lately I have been feeling the urge to start doing the things that scare me.  

Last week I was riding my bike and thinking about what I wanted to do later in the day and for the first time, I felt restricted being on my own. I knew that almost everyone else was at work and in a minor panic I thought, "I have no-one to do something with!"

That started to bother me.  What am I scared of? Why do I have such anxiety doing some things alone?And somewhere along the line it turned into a brainstorm session of the things that I am scared to do. 

So I came home and I signed up for a 10k.

Signing up for a race is something that I have always been apprehensive about because I am not a "runner."  I enjoy running but I have never considered myself anything great in that department.  But I have always wished that I was a runner, so why not? Why not make the leap and go for it. Besides, this  big, lofty goal, is the perfect jumping off spot to get me out of my comfort zone.

I've got some training to do but I am so excited to be working toward something that I have always kept from myself.  

I am the only one holding me back from doing everything I want to and I want to break that habit. You can follow along on instagram and twitter using the hashtag #neverfear (and join in yourself!)

What about you? Are you comfortable doing things on your own? Do you make it a point to do things that scare you? What's some big goal that you have achieved?

PS / If anyone in or around Austin wants to join me, you can sign up here!

I'm Back + I Missed You!

Hey everyone!  As of today, this blog is back in business and coming at ya from Austin, TX.

It feels so good to be back, I'm telling ya!  I enjoyed my time off but I missed this blog.  It's become a pretty significant part of my day and I realized that, strongly, on this break.

In the coming weeks I have a few new changes rolling out so there may be some bumps and tweaks for just a bit but it should all work itself out by July 1st.  I am so excited and extra pumped to share all the new-ness with you!

But today, I'd like to keep it simple. Since I've been gone for a few weeks, and since I've been transplanted across the state, I thought it might be fun to do a little "taking stock" post.  Here's what's  going on with me:

Making : cocktails out the wazoo, all in the name of blog posts!
Cooking : Nothing!  My parents are wonderful cooks so I've been taking advantage…
Drinking : aforementioned cocktails
Reading : The Fault in Our Stars (I've finally started this!)
Wanting : to take a trip out to Hamilton pool
Looking : for a place to rent

Playing : pool, a lot.  My family has become quite the group of pool nuts.
Sewing : patches on my jeans.  My boyfriend jeans have become a bit more "distressed" than I prefer
Wishing : for an easy transition for N.  He's never lived in the city before so I'm hoping it's not a shock
Enjoying : this weather!  Austin is hot but it's also humid and strangely enough, my hair loves it.
Waiting : for Parenthood to come back on, although I'm sad that it'll be the final season.
Liking Loving : the SPURS!
Wondering : what we're doing this weekend?
Loving : the food. Austin has great food
Hoping : to find a job, quickly
Marveling : at my middle school music choices and how my love for Yellowcard is still really real
Needing : a new pair of running shoes.  I've signed up for my first ever race and my current pair is about done for
Smelling : mountain laurel.  Those purple flowers smell heavenly!
Wearing : leopard sneaks and boyfriend jeans, on the regular
Following : this lady
Noticing : how much less dust accumulates here.  After living in west Texas, this is ahhhhmazing.
Knowing : That we are going to look back on this time with a lot of love
Thinking : about taking the leap into professional photography
Bookmarking : new furniture for our new place (when we find it)
Opening : random boxes to find where I put my fill in the blank, because I didn't label effectively
Giggling : at Nick as he talks to me in song
Feeling : grateful for this whirlwind opportunity to move to Austin. We've definitely been blessed.

So, how are you? Anything new and exciting?  I'd love to chat with you in the comments :)

On Friday

It's been a week.  Y'all know what I mean, right?

I'm not sure what it is but I have been completely exhausted, despite my getting to bed earlier.  I actually ended up going to the doctor for this reason and hopefully they can shed some light on it…

Even though I missed a few posts this week I'm back with a little recap of my week.

This picture is kind of cheating since it was taken a while back when we were hanging out in McKinney.  It was right after we went to Kendi's shop.  Downtown McKinney is a dream and I've been thinking about taking a little weekend trip in that direction.

I've been doing a lot of working from my bed.  It's nice but it also means it easy to slip into TV watching mode and start catching up on How I Met Your Mother.  For any of you who watch it, do you just love the mother?  The whole time I was thinking that when we finally met her I would see her as an outsider but the more and more I see of her the more adorable she is.

I snapped this picture one morning this week when I got up for work.  I went to do my hair and makeup and when I came back, Ellie had snuggled up into my spot.  The sweetest.

And lastly, this.  This guy was riding his horse through a neighborhood and he is about to ride past a grocery store.  This looks like it's in the middle of nowhere but it just happens to be an empty lot.  

When I was in middle school I had a friend that moved to Florida.  When she came back to visit she told us that people would ask her if Texans rode horses to school. No, of course not.  But in this guy's case, sometimes the Texas stereotypes turn out to be true.

Side note, there is actually an old barn in the middle of my college campus because students used to be able to pay their tuition in livestock.  Just a little fun fact.

I hope you have a great weekend!

A Week in Five Pictures

Woohoo!  It's Friday and it's Valentines day!  I feel like I am just going non-stop today but in a good way!  So, once again I am just going to leave you with a few pictures from the week.  Have a beautiful weekend!

A cute notebook (that I don't want to write in because it's so pretty!), my planner, and a JessLC card that I don't think I'll ever use.  Did anyone else every buy anything from Jess?  I wish her shop was still open.  

I got this print from Alphonnsine, isn't it gorgeous?

Just so good.  If you haven't read The Goldfinch, you need to!

A little reading corner that we set up this past week.  I spent too much time here, reading the last pic ;)

I stopped into chip-fil-a to get a tea this week and the boy behind the counter decided that he liked me, I suppose.  He gave me a little wink and handed me some ice cream and said, "It's on the house."  Okay. I'll take it.

How was your week?  What do you have planned this weekend? 

Being Uncertain

I wonder a lot about the future.  I wonder where I will be in five years and what group of friends I'll have, and whether or not I will have developed that love of cooking that I so wish I had.  I wonder about my dreams and how they will be the same and different and how close my brothers and I will be as "real" adults and a whole number of other things.

I'm in a season of life where, for the first time, things don't seem so planned out.

I thought I would be married and working as a lawyer (yep, childhood dream right there!) and getting ready to have kids at twenty-five.  This isn't a pity party, I am not sad about where I am.  In fact I feel good, I feel wonderful and excited.  It's empowering to realize that you've broken away from something familiar, set new sights, and are thriving.  I exchanged the plans I had then for the dreams I have now. I wouldn't change that either, not for a moment.  And that is why.  This invigorating feeling of being close to my own heart, is why.

It's just the uncertainty, that is where I'm caught.

I don't even know if I am going to live in my same house in a few months. It's not because I can't re-sign my lease or because I can't afford my rent.  It's because the endless flow of possibility has me feeling overwhelmed and excited at the very same time.  I could stay here or I could go anywhere else.  It's both liberating and unnerving.

That's when a thought comes to mind: maybe there is something that I just can't see.  Maybe I need this.

Sometime in the thick of things and feelings I get bogged down and it is hard to see anything but my immediate issues in all the fog.  Or immediate joys.  But I have it, that belief that things happen for a reason.  I don't think that anything is for nothing.  I think there is a solid reason behind even the most horrible experiences and the most beautiful joys.

What I really want is to see.  I want to take a step back and really be able to focus on what this season of life is instilling in me, what it is all about.  I hope to be able to see the beauty in the process and focus less on the wonderings.

And honestly, it's all in faith.  There are times, even when I try to focus with an open heart, I still can't see the big plan, and that is my frustrating reality. Some days.  But faith, this is what I find myself calling on more and more.  I'm trusting that this season is one of transformation and that I couldn't possibly get to where I am going without first going through a little uncertainty.  Even when I can't see it, I trust that my life is being shaped in ways I couldn't possibly conduct myself.

So for now… I working towards the things that I know I want in my future, the things that I can create for myself.  And the rest will fall in to place in their own time.

Weekly Wishes

Hey everyone!   I hope that you are all having a great Monday!  I hope no body has come down with a bad case of them...

I kind of don't mind Mondays.  Weekends are lazy and I like that but I thrive on a schedule and so after too much weekend, I relish getting back into the groove.  And my work days end at 2, so I am always especially grateful for that, on the occasions when monday isn't so welcome.

So, how did I do last week?

This past week was so-so on the weekly wishes front.  I DID start reading a new book, The Goldfinch. After dinner one night N and I were wandering around and ended up over at the bookstore, which is usually the case, us book nerds.  I saw that book and remembered hearing such good things about it so I picked it up, only to be surprised when N wouldn't let me pay for it, insisting that it was his treat.  A hefty amount of boyfriend points were awarded for that, in case you were wondering.

I didn't get out and take pictures like I had hoped.  That was a combination of bad weather and needing to watch Love Actually again.  But that's okay, there is always next week.

I did start rebranding my etsy shop and it has been pretty fun, like all you lovely ladies told me it would be.  I'll admit, I was a little stressed about doing it.  I love to design and brand for other people.  Somewhere, there is a disconnect on doing it for myself.  I have too many ideas and I want to incorporate them all.  I am just too close to it all to make an objective decision.  So I went into this lightly. I just played around with ideas, left them and came back with new, fresh eyes.  Every time I felt the stress creep up, I took a deep breath and reminded myself how much better the end product would be if I tackled this slowly, gracefully.  I hope to finish up the design bit this week and start on the photography.

Lastly, I didn't run three times this week.  Actually, I didn't even run one time this week.  I decided on an entirely different workout instead, and that's okay.  I'm trying to keep with my "resolutions" this year and be calmer, more fluid. So what if my wish was to run this week? I still worked to get myself to where I want to be, just a different way around.


This week!

This week a have a few

One. Clean out my closet, again.  I want to pare down even more.  I have to keep the mantra going: fewer, better things.

Two. Re-design my design shop.  I have let this venture fall to the way-side recently but now that things are calming down and leveling out, I want to get back into it.

Three. Eat healthier.  I am pretty good about eating a healthy breakfast and lunch but when it comes to dinner I am all over the place.  Sometimes it's healthy but oftentimes it is whatever is quick and easy and unfortunately that usually includes some sort of take out or fast food.  I went grocery shopping yesterday with some meals in mind and I am hoping that having a plan in place makes healthy dinners a bit easier to come by.

Four. Do something by myself.  I don't know what yet but I want to do something that I would normally do with someone else, on my own.  There is just something about it that makes me feel peaceful and happy.  And maybe a little extra independent, too.


Here's to another week! What about you all?

Twenty-Fourteen, y'all.

It's the very first day of 2014 and I think I am coming down with the flu.  I kissed N at midnight last night and I think that's what did me in.  Worth it, though, to end the previous and begin the new year smooching on your favorite person.

So yeah, I want to talk about 2014 a bit.  I personally love reading everyones thoughts on New Years.  They are all so full of hope and they are inspiring to me.  It's one really long pep talk for the upcoming year.  I like that.

But first I'd like to thank you all that left sweet comments on my spotty posting this past month or more.  I haven't been great about keeping up but with the new year finding it's way here already I feel like it's time to get back into it.  And besides, I have so much stuff I want to tell you all!  It's been a record month for planning and dreaming and I am so excited for 2014 and all that we are making happen!

So, on to 2014.

I love organized holidays, they leave me with a wonderful buzzing feeling all over and I just can't help it.  I'll pipe up and tell the room what I am thankful for on Thanksgiving, decorate sugar cookie santas, brave the cold to see the best Christmas lights, wrap presents while listening to the classics, and eat black eyed peas all new year's day.  I will partake in all manner of traditions with the utmost, genuine, child-like excitement, every time.

But the older I have gotten the more new years resolutions seem silly. The seem like a way to put off what you wanted to do in the previous year.   I hear, 'I want to do this but, you know, I still have a couple of days until the new year…'  and it is just selling yourself short.  Not starting something today simply because it will be January first in a week and anything worth really starting is best started with pomp and circumstance, along with the rest of the world, is counterproductive.

There are some things I want to start.  I want to start blogging more, I want to start running again,

Those things are best started now.  If now just happens to be January the first, then wonderful, start being awesome on the first.  If now happens to be in March, then start in March.  Just don't put things off for an imaginary magical start date.  Your daily resolutions are much stronger than those made with sweeping excitement.

But, being the planner and grower that I like to be, there are some things that I want for 2014.  I do like the idea of a new year as a new go-round.  I can look toward 2014 and make it whatever I want it to be.  Looking back, 2013 was a rough year.  It wasn't necessarily bad, it was just taxing.  This past year has left me tired and feeling a little adrift.  So for 2014 I am hopeful, and I am standing here, on the first of January, bearing ideas.  And as my thought flow best this way, I made a little list.

One. Find peace in the idea of breaking away from a life plan.  Accept that people won't alway understand why you are doing what you are doing but have faith that you are doing what is right for you.

Two. Be strong.  Some things will threaten to crush you but do not let them.  Learn to accept and move on.  Learn to see the experience in a bad situation and have faith that there is purpose in this trial. And above all remember that God won't bring you to anything that you and him cannot handle together.

Three. Don't take yourself too seriously.  Life can be funny if you let it.  Learn to let things roll off and realize that it's not as big a deal as you think it is. There is so much freedom in this.

Four. Love more.  Feel it more.  Let it envelope you.  This isn't weakness, this is letting yourself truly relish one of life's greatest emotions.  Life is too short to be harboring bad feelings toward others. 

Five. Live simply, buy fewer, better things, and learn to live contently with the things you have.  Find the beauty in the function and don't constantly strive for the next thing you want to get.

Six. Focus on experiences.  Value learning, seeing, and doing over having, getting and acquiring.

Seven. Revel in the simple.  Cups of green tea, good books, cozy blankets, the outdoors, a rainstorm, a flickering candle, you time, whatever makes you feel grounded, in the simplest of terms.

Eight. Enjoy today.  Dreams are wonderful but don't lose yourself in them.  Be present and remember that this day is beautiful too.

Nine. Be so, so kind.  Allow yourself to be.  It's about letting go of bad feelings and resentments rather than overcoming them with force.  Be kind to yourself as well as all these beautiful people around you. 

Ten. Do what makes you happy, not what makes others happy for you.  If you want to wear something, wear it.  If you don't want to get married, don't.  If you'd rather stay in and knit than go out drinking, please, do that!  Just don't try to fit into a mold that someone else made for you.

Eleven. Be real.  Live authentically and wholly.  Be honest with yourself and others.  Be who you are, regardless of who's company you are in.  Don't live life on the surface, dig deep and make it really count.

Twelve. Continue dreaming.  Dream big, huge, even.  Don't let petty struggles dissuade you, don't let them take this away.  Tomorrow is always a new day and new dreams are on the horizon. You just have to be there to grasp them.

Thirteen. Take risks.  Do that oddball thing, take a chance.  Add a little recklessness to your life, for there is only one.

Fourteen. Work really hard.  But don't forget to stay humble.  Find those things that you believe in, that job that really gets you, that relationship that you can't live without and work at it.  Work so hard that at the end of the day, you know that you gave it your all.

Fifteen. Grow.  And do so with abandon.  Don't pass up an opportunity to learn a new skill, experience a new place, try a new food, or meet a new person.  Do it all and grow with the experience and never stop learning.

Sixteen. Be brave.  Do something that scares you. Those ideas that make you reach and things that you never thought you could do, embrace them.  Take the norm and throw it out the window in hopes of finding something much more fulfilling and beautiful.

These are just some of the things rattling around in my head on this first of January, twenty-fourteen.  Some things I would like to keep in mind as this year gains steam.

So here's to 2014, a new year to make our own.

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Monday Ramblings

First off, I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!  Mine was spent in Austin, hanging out with my family, and realizing how much cooler my parents are now that us kids are grown and out of the house.   Or maybe it's just a perception thing? Hah! Either way, if y'all are reading this, mom and dad, y'all are cooler than some of my friends, just saying.

So we hung out, drank wine and margaritas, watched Baylor eat up on my Red Raiders (but hey, at least Baylor is a Texas team, y'all!), and got my hair done (with more wine).  So, you see, it was a solid weekend.

Also, I'd like to be educated on the popularity of Formula 1.  From what I saw, Austin was hosting a ridiculous amount of rich Europeans (who really love 6th street, apparently).  They were all paying $500 for helicopter rides and thousands for hotels.  And what I got out of it was extra expensive drinks and no celebrity sightings :(

But there is another reason for this post today.

I have a little story for you.

A lot of you know that I started a new job a few months back.  It was the job that I was so, so excited about and actually jumped up and down for when I got the call that I got it.  It paid well, the hours were good, the benefits were awesome, and there was boo-coos of advancement opportunities.  It was the job that I had been looking and hoping for.  Until I actually started working there.

I have never had a job that made me feel as stressed out, uptight, and generally manic as this one. And before we go any further, this company is actually a wonderful company.  I don't have any beef with them, it's just that this job was a horrible fit for me, personally.  So, I weighed my options, had a mini break down, and over-thought all the reasons that quitting a job so early made me a quitter.  Then I picked myself up and decided that I didn't want to settle and that being proactive about my situation didn't make me a quitter, it just meant that I had high standards for my happiness.  Ya know, those things.

And then a wonderful little thing happened.  I was happier and I took a few days off and then found myself at a little office, with some wonderful people, in a job that is a much better fit for me. And I am so, so grateful that something came along at the exact right time, kind of like it was meant to be.

Anyway... I am linking up this monday!  I hope it's a great one :)

  

Monthly Musts // November

Must watch football.  College football, specifically.  I am a football nut come the fall time and with all the family get togethers that are about to happen, I need to be up on how all the college teams are faring.

must make pumpkin bread.  November marks the beginning of the two month span of guilt free comfort food overload.  I'll worry about those extra pounds come January because I've caught the holiday bug and the only cure is more... pumpkin bread.

must go to multiple family get togethers on one day, eat lots of food (I'm sensing a trend..), and repeat.  Some people may find this hectic but I loooove making the rounds on Thanksgiving.

must wear sweatshirts.  I am pretty over the moon about the new embellished ones.  Now I can wear a sweatshirt literally everywhere and still be accepted, socially.

must smell that wonderful aroma of people starting to use their fireplaces.  That smoky smell hanging in the air is one of my most favorite smell, of all time.

must wonder about why the holidays are just so darn magical.  

must feel that this is the start of the most glorious time of the year.  There's no stopping this crazy excitement.

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Fair Days

A couple of weeks ago we made a trip out to the fair.  This is definitely one of my favorite things about living in a "small" town.  There is so much energy around these kinds of events.  It feels like the whole city comes out to celebrate together.  That kind of community really brings on those warm fuzzies.

Luckily my man enjoys it as much as I do, so I brought him along and we called it date night.  He bought me some food and we shared a drink.  Romance abounds, naturally.  All jokes aside, I'll take a fair date night over fancy food any. day.

As I probably definitely have mentioned before, I am in it for the cheese on a stick.  It's oozy, oowy, gooey amazing-ness is where it's really at.  And yeah, it makes me feel a little bit gross, eating all that battered, deep fried cheese, but when the fair comes around, my inner child makes her appearance, and she doesn't really mind.

I am a ride enthusiast but my other half is quite opposed to such things so we walked around, enjoying the feeling of sheer glee that hangs in the air.  The music, the colors, and the way you can't help but feel a little bit giddy. And those adorable sock monkeys stole my heart, too.  

Now, I'm happy to introduce you to one of my sponsors this month!  Jen is one of my buddies for the Carabox exchange and I am super flattered that she decided to advertise with me.  She blogs and sells scentsy and she's pretty awesome if I do say so myself!   

Little Things = Big Happiness

I feel like sometimes, the idea of "being happy" is made out to be some gargantuan of a thing. When I've allowed myself to think of it this way, I am always left feeling intimidated. I know I need to be "happy" but it seems as if we are starting to make happy something that it is not.  Happy is not an all encompassing word for a perfect life.  Happy people have sad days, too.  This doesn't mean that they are unhappy.  They are just human.

So instead of thinking of happiness as a some big goal that I am reaching for, I am choosing to think of it as a large cumulation of all those little things that bring me joy.  Every little thing adds to my big happiness package.  This has really been a blessing in my life, thinking this way, so... here are some little things that bring me some big 'ole happiness.

Slow sunday mornings
A new West Elm catalog
fresh flowers
A fluffy white duvet
Being able to make N laugh
Getting that rush of inspiration
Sunshine
A freshly cleaned house
Coffee in a big mug
Seeing friendly faces on my fridge
My black and white buffalo check blanket (sometimes there is just one blanket that is cozier than the rest)
A pumpkin patch in the fall
Any kind of mexican food
Inspiring quotes
When Ellie jumps on the couch and buries herself in the blankets
Finding a cappuccino machine at work
When I hit that writing groove
Surprise hugs
A trip, of any kind
Reading a book that just gets me
My favorite shoes (really, you just look at them under your desk and you're like, 'man, those are awesome shoes')
Photo booth photos
Walking outside only to realize I actually need a coat
Being excited about the future

What little things make you happy?

Free To Do, Free To Be

If I were to wake up tomorrow, free to do anything I wanted and be whoever I wanted to be, I would work for myself and have the freedom to live where I wanted.  I would be fearless and adventurous and there would never be a time when life felt monotonous.  And I would continue to feel very blessed.

I would be able to make a living doing things that I liked.  There is value in working, I understand that. But what weighs on you is how so much time is spent on other work and how long and taxing those days are. Then you get home and you get caught up in blogging and designing and jewelry making and all of a sudden you wonder where the time went.  Life is so sweet, there is no reason why one shouldn't be able to make a living doing something that makes you lose track of time.  I just refuse to believe that you have to settle for the former.  

Above all else, I want to be able to be able to have the freedom to move.  I want to be able to pick up and move to london for a few months.  I want to travel with the intention of really letting myself sink into the culture and way of life.  If you are only there for a week or two you'll want to be a tourist, see everything you can!  I want that, but I also want to eat a leisurely lunch at a little cafe without the worry that I am going to waste time and miss something.  

I want to spend my younger years traveling around and save the settling down for when I get a bit older.  I do want to settle down, have kids, and have our forever home and do all of that but first.  first. I want a little adventure and I want to be able to say that I did something to give myself that opportunity.

Ya know, just some thoughts on this Friday night.

If you woke up tomorrow and were free to do anything you wanted with your life, what would you do and who would you be?

This & That

// I am participating in Everyday Happy and I am absolutely loving it!  If any of you read Melyssa or Erika's blogs then you know that they are both amazing women and after a few days in this course, it is clear that they have amazing amounts of wisdom on the topic of happiness and positivity.  I am just ready to soak it all up.

// You may remember me talking about my job interview last week. Well, I got the job!  That's why I have been gone the past few days.  I have 6 weeks of training to go through and it's just tiring to focus on computer training for so long.  BUT while I might not be blogging quite as much, I'll still be here :)

// I hope that everyone has a wonderful weekend!

Sarah

This and That

// This week has been an almighty flurry of life stuff.  I have had a few job interviews, one of which I am pretty excited about.  Like I've literally had my fingers crossed for days.  My final interview is tomorrow so we shall see about all that. So sorry that my presence has been a bit sparse in these parts. 

// I've been doing a lot of thinking about where I want to be in a years time.  Part of me has these big plans of leaving the country for a year abroad.  But what would I do?  That's where I am not sure.  I'm considering grad school, or maybe teaching of some sort.  But I want N to be there with me and there's all this talk of Visas and it's all fairly confusing for this born and raised Texan.  

// This weekend we are chock full of fun times.  Tonight we are hitting up the fair.  I'm in it for the cheese on a stick, really.  On Saturday we are having a birthday lunch for N's grandfather and a going away party for N's cousin who will be shipping out with the Navy in a few short weeks.  And let's not forget Breaking Bad on Sunday.  This is the last episode and I have been beside myself this week with sheer worry about how everything can possibly tie together in one final hour.  I'm telling ya, I'm just not emotionally ready for this. Not at all.  Revenge too. Nolannnnnn!

// Also, This test from Dr. Phil was surprisingly accurate.  I got a 37. What about you?

I hope that you all have a lovely weekend :)

What I'm up To

Happy monday everyone!  I hope your weekend was just perfect.  As per the usual we watched football, ate some delicious food and tuned in Sunday night for Breaking Bad (I can't believe the end is next week gah!).  We also threw in a date night at a restaurant called Copper Caboose where we had some wonderful mexican food and played some old school games like ski-ball.  Yes, we were the only adults there that did not have children, but it was fun just the same.

So, I'm taking this monday a little slow and I'm stealing this today from Pip!

Making : jewelry
Cooking : Waffles every morning, now that I broke in my waffle maker
Drinking : hot cocoa (helloooo autumn)
Reading : This Side of Paradise
Wanting : some fun chairs
Looking : at foreign teaching jobs
Playing : in the backyard with the puppies
Wasting : my morning hours on coffee and reading, and not feeling bad about it.
Sewing : nothing, but I'm about to try my hand at making a pillow dun dun dunnnn
Wishing : for N to get a promotion that he really, really deserves
Enjoying : my morning runs, more and more
Waiting : to see how Breaking Bad will end, and how I will go on without it.
Liking : the new crispness in the air and how it makes me want to wear sweaters, already
Wondering : about this blog and where it is going
Loving : the thought of cold weather, snow, and gray mornings.
Hoping : to go get lost in the corn maze.
Marveling : at how fast things seem to be going, but how slow at the same time.
Needing : some time in Austin with my family
Smelling : pumpkin spice candles all over my house
Wearing : these guys
Following : Chelsea. Everywhere.
Noticing : that the things I want out of life are changing little by little
Knowing : that this may be my last Autumn in this town
Thinking : about what I want to do next
Feeling : tired
Bookmarking : travel destinations
Opening : packages from home
Giggling : at Parks and Rec as I re-watch it with N
Feeling : loved

Have a wonderful Monday, y'all!

This & That

I have been working and working this week and it has been so wonderful! But it's been an interesting adjustment working from home.  I'm so grateful for it but it's almost like work never stops, ya know.  I mentioned to N this afternoon that I wanted to get away and he totally agrees.  He's got vacation time to spare so I hope to do a bit of thinking and plan a fun little trip in a few weeks!

Which reminds me that it is the weekend!  So that afore mentioned hunk is all. mine.  I don't have to share him with work for a few days and that is reason for celebration.

Oh my college football is in full swing and I am just downright gleeful about the whole lot.  We're undefeated so far!  We have had a lot of swtich-a-roos when it comes to coaches in the past few years but it seems the dust has settled and we hired Kliff Kingsbury and he's been a real hit.  See for yourself:

#agreed and he appears to actually be a good coach, if those things are important.

Also, thanks to those lovely ladies that are trusting me to design their blogs... y'all are awesome. I'm sure you know this, of course.

And a little shameless plug for myself... I am still offering 50% off a blog design. I'd love to give you a stellar redesign and have you grace my portfolio :)

Happy friday you guys, I hope your weekend is wonderful!

A Prompt and Plans

Describe a distinct moment when your life took a turn.

This prompt really came at a good time.  I have had this post just sitting in my drafts for a while because it makes me a little nervous.  This is a little more personal that I usually post but I read something the other day that mentioned the good in posting things you're a little afraid of.  And considering my personality from yesterday's post, this is a rather large step for me.

This life turn is a little broader, I think, it is about a span of a year or so in which my life took a turn, but there was a distinct moment when I realized it.

Also, I have apparently wrote you a novel...

See, I was a model student from kindergarten to senior year.  I did some extra-curriculars, going to class wasn't hard, and things made more since than I knew how to handle.  I floated through life easily, no thoughts to the contrary.

In college things started out this way.  Things were good, progressing.  I was on my own!  It was wonderful and liberating.  It was everything that it should be.  And then, a few years in, things changed.  My distinct moment was sitting in a class and just thinking that I could not be there.  Couldn't stand to be there one minute longer.  Didn't fit there.  I left the class in a moment of flurried confusion and from then on out it was a hard fought battle between me and school and the anxiety I felt about nothing in particular.  Everything in particular.  That was the worst part.  It was just there, rooted in nothing.  Looming.  Attached to nothing but ever present.

I wasn't doing what I was supposed to do.  Irresponsible.  I wasn't doing good in school.  Dumb.  I didn't feel like leaving the house.  Lazy.  Those words were sharp.

And here was the problem: identity crisis!  My whole life I grew up a certain way.  I grew up straight.  No hiccups.  I just didn't have any bumps along the way, ya know? I was the child who my parents expected the most out of.  Im not trying to be whatever, it's just true.  I was the book smart, overly cautious, (mostly), responsible to a fault, child.

And then I went to college.  You go out in all your innocent glory and you laugh and study and find your happy self and walk gracefully out the other side, four years later, ready to take the world on.  That's the norm and that was me.  And that wasn't plan A, that was just the plan.  Because why would you need a plan B when you have life planned out.  And it's never been hard before.

You know, when you are you for your whole life, you get tunnel vision.  

This is you.  And that isn't you.  

But you're looking in the mirror and seeing yourself, and you're sure its you, because you'd recognize that face anywhere.  

And you're feeling the feelings and seeing yourself and you crumble just a bit because its coming together, is all.

What's hard is that things didn't feel like mine anymore.  For a while, I didn't feel like mine anymore. I knew who I had been and I could see who I was becoming but the two were so foreign to each other that I wasn't sure what was left.  I didn't belong to the world of the girl I  used to be and I didn't want to explore the future with this new person.  She was a righteous failure.  She wasn't the happy go lucky girl that I knew and loved.  She couldn't even finish college in 4 years like everyone else on the planet. Which isn't true, we know.  But I spoke in absolutes for a while.  

That part of my life absolutely swam in absolutes. 

Onward.

Upward.

Things got better, little by little.  But not until I gave up on my stubbornness, resentment, and refusal to accept myself.  Both past and present.  It's hard to accept a different version of yourself, one you never saw coming.  But it's vital, accepting is vital.



So all this to say that Plan A, the plan that I didn't know I had, is dead and gone and may it rest in peace.

Things didn't go as planned and that was unfortunate but while I sitting there getting friendly with my negative thoughts, my life was passing me by.  Just like that!  Gone and away.  And if I let a setback dictate my whole being then who is really losing here?  It's not the people who "got it right" or God.  It's just not. And you don't really want it to.

And plan B isn't really a plan. Rather a concession to my linear thinking and my white-knuckle grasp on "the way it should be". Plan B isn't really a plan but it's a reminder to let it go.  A reminder to embrace life in it's insane, beautiful, and sometimes life changing turns. To have faith in God, even in those times when you can't see a single solitary reason for where he's put you.  For where you've found yourself.

I have since started seeing this as a growing experience.  And what a difference that has made. Who would have thought feeling strong could be a choice?  A simple mind shift.  You could choose which way you'd like to go and will it to be.  That is just amazing to me.

Some days it still bothers me.  Bothers me that things didn't go how I had planned them out.  But those thoughts don't hold near as much water as they used to.  The past doesn't hold as much.  I've learned to see the better in things and the future is far more exciting.

 

The One With the Personality Test

In continuing on with Blogtember,  I took this personality test over the weekend.  I tested as the ISFJ personality type which surprised me in absolutely no ways at all.

First of all, this is totally me.  I feel like they hit the nail on the head, so to speak.  I'm the generally introverted, largely in my own head, type of person.  I think a lot.  I take great pride in being needed, and I don't like to divulge anything that might make someone feel bad for me or otherwise uncomfortable.  I mentioned the results to Nick and he just smiled.  Apparently, he agrees.

They say that people of this personality type struggle with feeling unappreciated.  My first thought was no!  I don't!  Nick tells me how much he appreciates me on a daily basis!  But that's just the thing.  This really is a testament to N and how well he really gets me.

I'll have to thank him especially for that.  That wonderful man of mine.

When I think back on it, though, I remember those feelings of un-appreciation at my last job.  Which I hear, is just me being me!  I am not saying that they were warranted, just that they were there.  They followed suit and all.

And oh my, I am blaming things on my personality.

Another thing, I have a few close friends.  This has been true throughout my whole life.  When I was younger, I thought this was just because I was painfully shy.  I would get to the point where I hoped that I didn't have to talk to anyone in my classes!  The horror!  As I have gotten older, shy really isn't the word anymore, I'm just "quiet."  I choose what I want to say carefully as to emphasis exactly what I mean, without the superfluous words.

And instead of feeling like a have a few close friends because I am shy, it's because I have faith and I let things fall into place.  You just naturally click with some people.  And with others, things feel more forced.  I don't have the social energy to nudge a friendship into being.  If it doesn't fit naturally, chances are it will just make me feel anxious, like I am needing to provide "upkeep" on something.  Friendship should be effortless.  So, the friends I do have, they are perfect little corner pieces, and sky pieces that fit into whichever piece I am, ya know.  That's a puzzle reference.  Just to clarify.

This has been interesting in the blogging world.  Maybe we'll take twitter for example, I am tempted to just sit back and read the conversations.  This works in the real world, just being there, listening.  Because you are there, you've got a body in the situation and you have presence!  Online, if you aren't participating, it's as if you're not there at all.  Presence just isn't as passive behind that computer screen.

And a quick side note to say that I don't feel like this whole thing applies to my blogging personality, per se.  There should be separate blogging personality quiz because I don't even know about these things.  Or maybe this little ole thing is tweaking my personality in little ways... but that's for another time entirely.

 

High Five for Friday

Happy Friday you guys!  I hope you had a wonderful week.  Mine was pretty good but pretty exhausting as well so I am so ready for this weekend!  N's birthday is tomorrow so that makes it all the more fun!

I'm back with High Five for Friday today, linking up with Lauren :)

I worked on some new stuff for the shop this past weekend :)

And had some yummy, homemade bruschetta

Planned a  successful surprise date night for N and I.

Got some goodies in the mail from my lovely friend Jessica!

And realized Christmas has come to Hobby Lobby!  The count down had begun, you guys!

How was your week?